Bullies Out

Myths About Bullying - www.kidscape.org.uk
Friends and relatives may say some of the following things to you if you tell them about the bullying. They are well-meaning but wrong ! Bullying is NEVER a good thing; it is always damaging both for the victim and for the bully.

“I was bullied at school and it didn’t do me any harm.”
This is often said aggressively as if the person is still ashamed. They may have forgotten the pain they suffered.

“He’ll just have to learn to stand up for himself.”
Children who tell about bullying have usually reached the end of their tether. If they could have dealt with the bullying, they would have. Asking for support is not weakness but a recognition that they cannot cope with the situation on their own.

“Tell him to hit back - harder.”
Bullies are often bigger than their victims so the victim could get seriously hurt by ‘hitting back’. Hitting back reinforces the idea that violence and aggression are acceptable.

“It’s character-building ?”
The sort of ‘character’ it builds is not the sort of character most parents want for their children. Bullying can damage victims’ self esteem and can make them reserved and distrustful. (There is evidence that the victim may become a bully in adult life.)

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you ?”
Bruises left by blows fade and heal but the scars left by name-calling can last for ever. An 84 year old man wrote : “I can remember every word those fiends said. I’ve been hearing their bullying jeers all my life”.

“That’s not bullying ! It’s just kids teasing.”
Teasing is one thing but when it gets out of hand it can turn into vicious taunting. Once teasing begins to hurt the victim it is no longer ‘just a bit of fun’ and should be stopped.

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Resources :
	Courtesy of BullyingUK :			www.bullying.co.uk
		• Is my child being bullied ?		Finding out that your child is being bullied is a stressful and distressing experience. It’s natural for a parent to feel anger, confusion and guilt.
		• Bullying policies		All UK state schools need to have bullying policies by law, but the type of policy they use is down to the school.
		• Contacting the school		In the first instance, at a primary or junior school, see the class teacher and explain your worries in a friendly non-confrontational way.
		• Contacting the governors		Unfortunately many parents find that bullying continues after they have asked the class teacher, head of year or head teacher to sort it out.
	Courtesy of kidscape :			www.kidscape.org.uk (downloads)
		• Preventing bullying		Advice for parents.
		• Don’t bully me !		Advice for children.
	Courtesy of teachers.tv :			teachers.tv
		• Talking about bullying		A video by a London school about how they tackled bullying and transformed pupils’ behaviour. (Similar techniques are used by Duke Street and most schools.)
		• Anti‑Bullying (Downloads)		A good selection of documents and articles for advice about bullying.