Discussion Not Suppression

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From the school website (05 March 2008) : “I am not happy with the school as we have reported my cousins being bullied there, however the school has taken no action upon this and the bullying is still going ahead.”

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Reference to the above comment was made in an earlier discussion and we note that it subsequently was removed from the school’s guest book. We would like to assume that there was resolution to that particular problem. However, we have received e-mails from frustrated parents who have complained that their comments have been removed and that their issues were never addressed.

And here lies the dilemma. A school guest book is NOT the right place to post such criticisms / comments - it is too public. The Parents Support Forum acknowledges the same problem. Initially, posted comments were unmoderated but that had to be changed as some views / opinions / concerns were not considered to be suitable for public release.

Nevertheless, the comments and e-mails that have been received are valid and have been collated and should be actioned - it would be wrong to simply delete and disregard such expressions.

(It is suggested, even though the school’s website is far from active, that they use moderated comments for their guest book and respond to those comments if possible.)

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There must be ‘Discussion not Suppression’.

How can this be achieved ?

There needs to be concerted effort made by the school governors to investigate and review their role and interaction with the school. Duke Street is no different from many schools - the governors are distanced from the school and they have no direct contact with staff, parents or children.

It was suggested that one of the Parents Support Forum join the school governors but parent governors have a very restricted role :

“Parent governors are representative parents rather than representatives of parents. Although being available to advise parents on appropriate routes of action is a very important aspect of the role, it is vital that parent governors do not personally become involved in individual concerns. Apart from the possibility of this jeopardising appropriate complaints and appeals procedures, no governor has the authority to act individually on behalf of the school.”

From a discussion at governornet :

“I feel the problem at our school is the head’s ostrich tactic when it comes to complaints. Our parents tend to be very vocal and will broach the head with issues they are concerned about around their children. The head, it seems, will often let them hear what they want to hear but not actually do anything. Rather than moving on to a written, formal complaint the parent either leaves the issue - just moaning about the outcome - or puts in for a transfer to another school. So issues don’t come, officially, to the GB so we can’t act on them - and the head trundles on.”

Several e-mails asked us who we are and why don’t we come forward as a group. The answer is that we can’t. We have no official recognition and we remain troubled by concerns about our children. At the moment, at Duke Street, there is a sense that no one wants to talk - one e-mail said “there is a prevailing atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust” - and that was from staff !

The school has to realise that we all like to moan. And probably 99.9% of the time it is just that - moaning ! But there does need to be an official group who can listen and react to parental concerns - and good ideas too ! It’s all about listening, understanding, discussion and involvement.

A comment was posted to the discussion at Deaf Ears - Breakfast Club :

“quite clearly ananymous is very self centred. I can clearly understand why the comment has been posted, however do these inconsiderate parents appreciate, that a lot of working parents work in schools and have their own famalies to look after. Maybe instead of slagging a school off with negative comments, these so called faceless parents should come up with positive ideas to support the school and their children. It seems to me, it is very easy to hide behind a useless blog, when I have always found, school staff approachable and willing to respond to positive ideas”

This unpleasant and scathing comment had been provoked by a parent’s good and constructive suggestion (that had been posted to the school’s guest book) :
	“Would like the school to have a breakfast club, so that working mums who start early have an option to drop children off at school early.”

It is disturbing to appreciate that this response was posted by the school and not by a parent !

(Whilst the Parents Support Forum promise not to breach anonymity, your activities on the forum are logged and it is possible to identify some fairly technical features of your contact - including IP address and service provider.)

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So there is clearly a long way to go but with your help there can be open discussion with everyone. The first step is for the governors to form a truly representative Parents’ Council and for them to increase their participation and involvement with the school.

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To conclude this discussion, we are indebted to ‘angry mother’ who made the following comment :

“If the school knows something and we parents don’t know that we should know what they know, how can we ask what they know that we don’t know!”

We couldn’t have put it better ! Thank you.

Bright Ideas and Hopes

“Over the past few years, schools have been extending the services they offer. Many now open up their facilities outside school hours for pupils, their families and the local community. So far, more than half of all schools in the country offer some ‘extended services’ for the pupils, families and communities they serve. By 2010, the Government wants that to be all schools.”

Department for Children, Schools and Families

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The services that many schools offer today include :

• affordable Ofsted registered childcare from 8am until 6pm, 48 weeks a year.
  
• breakfast clubs – a healthy meal, starting the day ready to learn.
  
• after-school clubs – to unwind and socialise in a safe place.
  
• homework clubs and study support – a quiet place to work, where pupils get the support they need.
  
• holiday clubs – run by local organisations, where children can try their hand at, say, canoeing, cycling, or an adventure course.
  
• activities for children up to the age of 14 – such as sports, computers, music, drama, art, model making and cooking.

The following publications by the Department for Children, School and Families (DCSF) tell you about extended schools :

• Extended Schools
  
  
• Extended Schools Leaflet for Parents
  
  
• Extended Schools Prospectus

There is also an informative video by the DCFS - Extended Schools.

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The future looks bright; the concept and services that will become available will help not only our children, it will extend into our community.

Great ideas but what are the school doing ? It is tempting to say nothing, as we tend to be kept at a distance. (‘Mushroom Management’ comes to mind !)

What will the school do ? This time it is not the school alone that will provide new services, like a breakfast club and all that the government expects to be in place by 2010. Sorry ... you have to appreciate that the schools’ role is to teach our children. That is a significant task in itself - we need to let teachers and other staff do their jobs.

So who else is there ? It is us parents and other service providers who will become actively involved with the school to help our children.

The school has been transformed by the new buildings but remember it is not the fabric of a school that is important. The vital factors are the teaching staff, their training, experience, dedication and commitment and us the parents and the rest of our community who must work together to provide our children with a bright, secure and promising future.

Can we make this happen ? Yes, but we need to work together - the school governors must progress with the introduction of a Parents’ Council.

The school management must become more open and accepting of new ideas. For many years there has been an impasse - us and them.

Even in the short time that this blog has been operating, there have been comments made that might well have originated from the school - the entry associated with Deaf Ears - Breakfast Club is such an example.

It is time that they listened and “were willing to respond to positive ideas” !

Join Us - We want your ideas !

The fundamental concept and foundation of this support forum is based on our belief that we can all help one another. As parents, each one of us has something to contribute. This is your forum and its content and direction must be guided by you.

Please join us by sharing your ideas today !

Stop Press ... Rats !

Following up on the two recent press releases regarding the ‘rat problem’, comments that have been received include :

• “I can see how you came up with the assumption that cold lunches and the supposed 'rat infestation' were linked but the fact that it turned out not to be linked has, in my opinion, reflected badly on the Parents Support Forum which is a shame as I feel the Forum could be a very positive place for parents who feel unsure about approaching other parents to swop ideas and gain information about the way the school works and how they can help to improve it.”
  
  
• “I rely on the fact that my children receive a hot dinner and I should have been told that they were only having sandwiches.”

This episode clearly shows that the flow of information between school and parents needs to improve.

Not only did the school not tell parents about a rat problem, they forgot to tell parents that there would be no proper catering facilities whilst building work progressed.

(The school never did explain why parents were not informed.)

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There is a disconcerting complacency about the rat infestation and much is being made of the fact that it was only one rat and that it was all fixed within one day.

Make no mistake, rats are a real hazard and they live in colonies - where there is one rat then there are more.

The following informative publication from Devon Council describes the biology and behaviour of a rat : Environmental Health - Rats.

It makes the clear point :

“If a rat is seen during the day, it is usually an indicator of a sizeable infestation.”

The Prevention of Damage by Pests Act 1949 places an obligation on owners or occupiers to control rats and mice on their property and to inform the local Council of infestations. The control of rats and mice is therefore everyone’s problem not just the Council’s.

So it is a very serious matter and we should have been told !

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A news report from the US that highlights the dangers of rats and the same reluctance by schools to inform parents.

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Parents Support Forum’s aim is to facilitate open and frank discussion.

Whilst there has been both positive and negative dialogue, there is no doubt that communication in itself can only be seen as positive.

Playtime

Over the past few weeks, we found numerous funny and anecdotal stories that all convey an important message.

Life is for living and without laughter, what is life ?

So we took time out to play !

(No comments this time !)

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A mother repeatedly called upstairs for her son to get up, get dressed and get ready for school. It was a familiar routine, especially at exam time.

“I feel sick.” said the voice from the bedroom.

“You are not sick. Get up and get ready.” called the mother, walking up the stairs and hovering outside the bedroom door.

“I hate school and I’m not going.” said the voice from the bedroom, “I’m always getting things wrong, making mistakes and getting told off. Nobody likes me, and I’ve got no friends. And we have too many tests and they are too confusing. It’s all just pointless, and I’m not going to school ever again.”

“I’m sorry, but you are going to school.” said the mother through the door, continuing encouragingly, “Really, mistakes are how we learn and develop. And please try not to take criticism so personally. And I can’t believe that nobody likes you - you have lots of friends at school. And yes, all those tests can be confusing, but we are all tested in many ways throughout our lives, so all of this experience at school is useful for life in general. Besides, you have to go, you are the headteacher.”

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A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the caretaker would wipe away the kisses, and the next day lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had become a bit of a game. The head teacher usually took a creative approach to problem solving, and so the next day she asked a few girl representatives from each class to meet with her in the lavatory.

“Thank you for coming.” said the head, “You will see there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this washroom.”

Some of the girls grinned at each other.

“As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is not easy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore had to develop a special cleaning regime, and my hope is that when you see the effort involved you will help spread the word that we’d all be better off if those responsible for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in future.”

At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet cubicles, dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of the lipstick-covered mirrors.

The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.

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A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket.”

“Very good.” said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, “We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

“Very good.” said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.

Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story : “My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.”

“Go on.” said the teacher, intrigued.

“Aunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens.” said the horrified teacher, “What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story ?”

“Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking !”

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A small boy was walking along a beach at low tide, where countless thousands of small sea creatures, having been washed up, were stranded and doomed to perish. A man watched as the boy picked up individual creatures and took them back into the water.

“I can see you’re being very kind.” said the watching man, “But there must be a million of them; it can’t possibly make any difference.”

Returning from the water’s edge, the boy said, “It will for that one.”

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A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared stuck.

The man decided to help the butterfly and with a pair of scissors he cut open the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shrivelled wings. The man watched the butterfly expecting it to take on its correct proportions. But nothing changed.

The butterfly stayed the same. It was never able to fly. In his kindness and haste the man did not realise that the butterfly’s struggle to get through the small opening of the cocoon is nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight.

Like the sapling which grows strong from being buffeted by the wind, in life we all need to struggle sometimes to make us strong.

When we coach and teach others it is helpful to recognize when people need to do things for themselves.

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Fred and Mabel were both patients in a mental hospital. One day as they both walked beside the swimming pool, Mabel jumped into the deep end and sank to the bottom. Without a thought for his own safety, Fred jumped in after her, brought her to the surface, hauled her out, gave her the kiss of life and saved her.

The next day happened to be Fred’s annual review. He was brought before the hospital board, where the director told him, “Fred, I have some good news and some bad news : the good news is that in light of your heroic act yesterday we consider that you are sane and can be released from this home back into society. The bad news is, I’m afraid, that Mabel, the patient you saved, shortly afterwards hung herself in the bathroom with the belt from her bathrobe. I’m sorry but she’s dead.”

“She didn’t hang herself.” Fred replied, “I put her there to dry !”

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Five Monkeys

The Monkey Story - How Policies Begin

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it.

Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.

The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one.

The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.

Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not ?

Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been around here.

And that’s how policy begins !

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Communities and community groups across Britain are faced with ever increasing opportunities to ‘participate’, yet such engagement is widely viewed as ineffective and the motives behind it viewed with suspicion. It is suggested that this ineffectiveness is often the result of decisions that are taken within the wider policy-making processes that develop and surround public involvement.

In the future, it is crucial that such barriers are removed. This must start through open discussion to construct new policies that provide the freedom to achieve common goals and aspirations.

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To explore how parents might become more involved in the life of the school and in the education their child receives there, Human Scale Education received funding of £29,100 from the Department for Education and Skills (DfES) for a one year project (2004-5). This involved work with four schools in England to set up parents’ class committees, parents’ councils and parents’ forums. In June 2004, schools were invited to submit applications for funding and in July, four schools – two primary and two secondary - were selected to receive a grant of £5000 each to develop ways of involving parents more democratically in their children’s education.

The HSE produced a report “Setting up Parents’ Councils” that studied these four schools. Their report makes the following statements :

Outcomes :

• Parents have a way to make their voice heard through the parents’ forum. If they have an issue they wish to raise they can do it in this group and know that it will be taken further.
  
  
• A number of parents are helping the school to reach out to other families informally in the playground and at the school gate.
  
  
• Events have been held at different times in order to include as many different parents and carers as possible.
  
  
• There is more individual contact with parents - more parents are contacting the school to get advice or help in connection with their child.
  
  
• Parents are helping more with school events, such as sports days.
  
  
• Parents have been involved for the first time in a staff quiz night (at the request of staff) – contributing to improved relations.
  
  
• Staff have congratulated the team who are working to develop links with parents as they have seen the benefits of this work.

Comments :

From staff :


• “Parents might come with more ideas of their own if we leave them some space.”
  
  
• “This project is having a lasting effect. It will definitely be continued.”
  
  
• “This work has given the school a way in to parents. There is a core of parents they can approach.”
  
  
• “Relationships with parents have improved generally.”

From parents :


• “The school is very approachable.”
  
  
• “There is an open door. The head and staff make you feel very welcome.”
  
  
• “There has been a transformation at the school.”
  
  
• “It’s good to be a part of the school and welcomed by staff.”
  
  
• “It is good to be involved and consulted about my child’s education and welfare and feel valued as a parent.”

The ‘Pied Piper’ of Duke Street

Some parents may be wondering why our children were being provided with sandwiches for lunch until recently.

A couple of us made enquiries before half-term and we were told that there was a problem with the cookers in the kitchen.

It now appears that there had been a rat infestation in the school kitchen.

From this information, there are now several questions / points that need an immediate response from the school :

1. Why did the school conceal the situation ?
   
   
2. Was the hall hygiene not compromised by rats ? (It is next to the kitchen and it would seem likely that rats could have got into the hall.)
   
   
3. Who advised the school about the potential health risk ?
   
   
4. Was the Health Protection Agency (HPA) involved ?
   
   
5. Can we be assured that the threat from rats has been permanently eradicated ?
   
   
6. Also, can we be assured that the areas affected have been professionally disinfected and are now biologically free from any possible infections ?
   
   
7. How did the rat infestation happen in the first place ?
   
   
8. Who officially knew about the rats ? (LEA, governors, headteacher, teachers, etc.)

What is hard to understand is why the school did not inform parents.

Rats are a common problem, much like lice, but their presence poses a significant health risk. This includes an infection called Leptospirosis which has mild flu-like symptoms or in extreme cases, Weil’s disease, involving jaundice and kidney failure.

The simplest course of action would have been for the school to make us aware that there was a problem and what measures were being taken.

We place our children into the care of others and expect their safety to be respected as paramount. No matter how well we set out to protect their lives, there are always dangers. What is not expected is that those carers will hide possible threats; when we can not see a danger then we are denied the opportunity to take precautionary action !

Duke Street is not the only school that recently has experienced a rat problem :

School closed by rat invasion

Rats found in North Wales school kitchen

Hundreds of schools plagued by pests

Rat problem closes primary school

Rats can’t keep a good school down

There are many more articles and it is not surprising. It is said that we are never more than 10 metres from a rat, especially at Duke Street !

The school remain vigilant about lice and reminded us in the newsletter of 9th October of our duty to address the problem adding that lice had decided to pay a call. It is disappointing that they did not tell us that the school also had vermin as visitors ! Worse that they should conceal it !

In the end, it comes down to trust between the school, parents and our children.

The school broke that trust.

What else is there that remains hidden ?

Bullies Out

Myths About Bullying - www.kidscape.org.uk
Friends and relatives may say some of the following things to you if you tell them about the bullying. They are well-meaning but wrong ! Bullying is NEVER a good thing; it is always damaging both for the victim and for the bully.

“I was bullied at school and it didn’t do me any harm.”
This is often said aggressively as if the person is still ashamed. They may have forgotten the pain they suffered.

“He’ll just have to learn to stand up for himself.”
Children who tell about bullying have usually reached the end of their tether. If they could have dealt with the bullying, they would have. Asking for support is not weakness but a recognition that they cannot cope with the situation on their own.

“Tell him to hit back - harder.”
Bullies are often bigger than their victims so the victim could get seriously hurt by ‘hitting back’. Hitting back reinforces the idea that violence and aggression are acceptable.

“It’s character-building ?”
The sort of ‘character’ it builds is not the sort of character most parents want for their children. Bullying can damage victims’ self esteem and can make them reserved and distrustful. (There is evidence that the victim may become a bully in adult life.)

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but names can never hurt you ?”
Bruises left by blows fade and heal but the scars left by name-calling can last for ever. An 84 year old man wrote : “I can remember every word those fiends said. I’ve been hearing their bullying jeers all my life”.

“That’s not bullying ! It’s just kids teasing.”
Teasing is one thing but when it gets out of hand it can turn into vicious taunting. Once teasing begins to hurt the victim it is no longer ‘just a bit of fun’ and should be stopped.

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Resources :
	Courtesy of BullyingUK :			www.bullying.co.uk
		• Is my child being bullied ?		Finding out that your child is being bullied is a stressful and distressing experience. It’s natural for a parent to feel anger, confusion and guilt.
		• Bullying policies		All UK state schools need to have bullying policies by law, but the type of policy they use is down to the school.
		• Contacting the school		In the first instance, at a primary or junior school, see the class teacher and explain your worries in a friendly non-confrontational way.
		• Contacting the governors		Unfortunately many parents find that bullying continues after they have asked the class teacher, head of year or head teacher to sort it out.
	Courtesy of kidscape :			www.kidscape.org.uk (downloads)
		• Preventing bullying		Advice for parents.
		• Don’t bully me !		Advice for children.
	Courtesy of teachers.tv :			teachers.tv
		• Talking about bullying		A video by a London school about how they tackled bullying and transformed pupils’ behaviour. (Similar techniques are used by Duke Street and most schools.)
		• Anti‑Bullying (Downloads)		A good selection of documents and articles for advice about bullying.